To persuade:

  1. Acknowledge flaws
  2. Keep insults to yourself
  3. Use stories (not anecdotes)

Engage those you meet: abandon boring conversation and replace it with interesting questions. Don’t be afraid to be a little weird.

  1. What passion are you working on?
  2. Have you recently met someone really interesting?
  3. Best or worst part of your day so far?
  4. I’m not sure where to go on a vacation, thoughts?
  5. Tell me about your story. I love hearing people’s “Why” stories.

Be emotionally curious: People love talking about themselves, ask open-ended questions (how and why, not what or when). Take a tip from Improv, yes and…

Use power body language: power-poses!

Stories are crucial to connect: people get in sync through stories as they trigger empathy.

Create a story toolbox:

  1. Relevant topics
  2. Thought-provoking ending questions
  3. No gossip or negative

Potential areas to explore:

  1. Most interesting book/study/article?
  2. Unexpected turn of events
  3. Most challenging moment
  4. Best story you’ve heard
  5. Weirdest event you’ve been to
  6. Vulnerable or embarrassing stories (see next point)

Be open and honest.

Embrace vulnerability: makes you more likable.

Ask for a favor

  1. The Franklin Effect: asked to borrow a book from an influential adversary – read the book and discussed it to transform the relationship.
  2. Ask for advice: admits vulnerability, authentic, people talk about themselves, admits vulnerability.

Ending a conversation: share weekend plans, wish them a fun one. Take a step back, point toes towards the exit.

References: Think Life a Freak, 7 Scientifically Proven Steps to Increase your Influence