- Acknowledge flaws
- Keep insults to yourself
- Use stories (not anecdotes)
Engage those you meet: abandon boring conversation and replace it with interesting questions. Don’t be afraid to be a little weird.
- What passion are you working on?
- Have you recently met someone really interesting?
- Best or worst part of your day so far?
- I’m not sure where to go on a vacation, thoughts?
- Tell me about your story. I love hearing people’s “Why” stories.
Be emotionally curious: People love talking about themselves, ask open-ended questions (how and why, not what or when). Take a tip from Improv, yes and…
Use power body language: power-poses!
Stories are crucial to connect: people get in sync through stories as they trigger empathy.
Create a story toolbox:
- Relevant topics
- Thought-provoking ending questions
- No gossip or negative
Potential areas to explore:
- Most interesting book/study/article?
- Unexpected turn of events
- Most challenging moment
- Best story you’ve heard
- Weirdest event you’ve been to
- Vulnerable or embarrassing stories (see next point)
Be open and honest.
Embrace vulnerability: makes you more likable.
Ask for a favor
- The Franklin Effect: asked to borrow a book from an influential adversary – read the book and discussed it to transform the relationship.
- Ask for advice: admits vulnerability, authentic, people talk about themselves, admits vulnerability.
Ending a conversation: share weekend plans, wish them a fun one. Take a step back, point toes towards the exit.
References: Think Life a Freak, 7 Scientifically Proven Steps to Increase your Influence