In my opinion and observation, just about ~99% of our limitations are made up. They are a straight up lie. That’s right, lies. And who lied to you to limit your potential? You did. Remember when you were growing up and went to a language class, hated it, and after that said “I’m just not good at languages?” That day, you lied to yourself. Then you may have gotten a C- on a high school essay and said, “I am not a good writer.” You lied to yourself, yet again. One day you heard about a stubborn person and the sound of it resounded with you and you started saying, “I am stubborn.” You may have liked the freedom of THINKING that people would just put up with whatever you said or did since you labeled yourself as stubborn. Oh, we are a funny bunch, aren’t we?
“A man is but the product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes.”
– Mahatma Gandhi
There are many other examples of self-limiting comments. How many of you have heard people say things like: I just can’t lose those extra pounds, I’m always late, I always get sick, I’m just kind of moody sometimes. We go on telling everyone just how much we know about ourselves, and we say these things with a commanding tone that may fool others to believe these are inherent characteristics of who we are. Scary stuff.
We are quite obnoxious about this, too. Someone may be talking about the new diet they are trying and right then we go on about how diets don’t work for us and the 1000 reasons why you will never be on one again. You tell the other person in detail just how much pain you went through when you couldn’t eat that piece of candy during your trip to Disney with your family, etc. Guess what? Other people probably don’t care, or at least not as much as you think they do. And even if they did, this diet is giving them amazing results. Just keep your mouth shut for a bit, resist the urge to give unsolicited advice, and listen with an open mind. Maybe this diet would work for you, too! Take your time to stop limiting yourself and others.
“If we are speaking, we are not listening or learning anything to add to our sum of knowledge.”
– Ken Fracaro
These limiting thoughts we have, I’m not good at this or that, reflect a defeated attitude. We give up and say, that’s who I am, just take it or leave it. Where is your DRIVE to push yourself? Where is your drive to improve? If we are not willing to put in work and effort, we will not learn. Active learning only takes place when you challenge yourself to improve, and get out of your comfort zone.
Transform these negative thoughts!
If you have any thoughts similar to the ones mentioned above, you may want to learn to transform your thoughts in order to lead a happier life. Let’s try it –
Next time you think “I don’t have any talent to dance,” replace the thought with, “Let me Google ways to learn how to dance, maybe I can watch a YouTube video that can teach me some moves.”
Instead of saying, “I can’t lose the extra pounds, this is how my body is,” take a step back and say, “If I want to lose weight, I need to stop doing what I have tried and learn new ways.” Unless you have seen a doctor about your health and nutrition, and have effectively worked with a good personal trainer, there is no reason for you to say ‘this is who I am.’ We suddenly become genetics experts, and say “I got bad genes.” Genetics may play a role, who knows, but most of the people who fail do so because they want to justify things, rather than work hard to change habits.
NO ONE will get ahead of the game by blaming others people or blaming things out of their control, only when we focus on the things we DO have control over, we succeed.
Don’t surrender when you are not happy about something, work to improve it. Accept that you are who you are today because of the thoughts and decisions from your past, and know you can start today to forge a better tomorrow.
The English language is sometimes misleading. People feel cold and they say “I am cold”, but cold has nothing to do with who they are, it’s just something they are feeling now. Likewise, people are mislead by the way they describe ‘feeling angry,’ they say “I am angry” enough times that anger becomes a part of who they are, and they constantly feel angry or upset. Be aware of what you say you are. You are not bad at something, you just have not yet gained the skills you desire to obtain and will work for.
Let’s approach life in a more positive note, looking always forward to improving ourselves rather than allowing defeat to take over. This way life will be happier for us and everyone surrounding us.