I’ve recently been thinking a lot about the origins of my indifference when it comes down to picking a place to eat, a dish to share with a friend, a place to visit, something to do on Friday nights, etc. It has always seemed to me that my friends come up with ideas that somehow fit my taste and I can just go along with them. I’ve pretty much spent most of my time just either doing my own thing in my room, studying and the rest, or doing whatever a friend came up with and invited me to do. I’ve realized that not only I’m easily adaptable and agree with my friends plans, but I’m actually incapable of coming up with ‘fun plans’ for me and my friends to do.
This probably originates from my childhood. The number of decisions I made as a kid where limited to… the position I chose to sleep in bed, the video game I played when none of my siblings were around, and when I used the restroom. My life was structured in such a way that I knew what I was supposed to do at almost every instant. There was no need to come up with something to do, it was best to just follow along.
Going to boarding school for high school didn’t make this any better. The options I had there were limited to studying, talking to friends, and playing board games (which didn’t appeal to me at the moment.) Just as before, there was no need for me to plan my days, the meals I was going to eat, or even the clothes I was going to wear. The weekends would only include going home Friday night, sleeping until Saturday afternoon, talking to my parents and using the internet, and… before I realized I was on my way back to boarding school again.
So, why am I ranting about all this? No particular reason, other than I realized I should probably develop these dormant skills that are quite underdeveloped at the moment. There’s only so much time that you can rely on your friends to make plans for you. I find it interesting that as much as I interact with people, and as good as my interactions with them are, I lack the skills which I consider fundamental to make interactions and relationships with friends interesting.