There is nothing like looking, if you want to find something. You certainly usually find something, if you look, but it is not always quite the something you were after.
As logical as it might sound, Tolkien’s quote pretty much describes the state in which I currently am, and I don’t only mean literally as in lab work. Getting through the day doing one thing after the other, being ‘productive’, I always stop at some point and wonder about my future. What am I to become in the next five years? ten years?
I’m in a constant state of wonder, questioning every aspect of my life and every action I take. And I do this just because I’m sure that if I keep thinking about things, if I keep looking for more, I’ll find something. Something that will make every step I’ve taken meaningful and will make the future much more clear.
I should join some sort of religion, that’s what people do.