A few weeks ago I was reading a very interesting article about a pharmaceutical plant that was awarded the 2009 Facility of the Year Overall Award by the Pharmaceutical Engineering Magazine.  The impressive thing about this plant was that it was built in a constrained area within a dense city, and the project was finished before the scheduled deadline, within budget, and with no major complications!  The planning and execution for this plant to be built was worthy of praise, and as such it was being featured in the magazine.  Although many factors contributed to this successful project, there was a very particular philosophy that the managers maintained, “No blame, fix the problem.”  If there is a problem, look for a solution rather than finding someone to blame for it.  Applying this philosophy to our life problems would allow you to improve things, see the silver lining in a situation, rather than get stuck in a cycle of negativity.

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Although many would hear this and immediately agree that it’s a good philosophy to follow, very few have the courage to apply this to their own lives on a constant basis.  Why do I say courage?

Each time we are faced with a difficult situation, we have two ways to look at it.  We can try to avoid it or dissociate ourselves from the situation, or we can fix the problem.  Sometimes we just disregard it as non-important in our efforts to keep ourselves from facing the problem at all.  Will this get you anywhere?  Say you had money problems, which is a very common problem these days, what do you do?

We can blame the economy, God, Obama or even Bush, or many others for our money issues, but the fact is that blaming them solves absolutely none of your problems.  This approach can make you feel better temporarily, but it hinders your creativity and will stop you from finding a good, tangible solution to your problem. Instead of blaming, focus your energy on fixing the problem, something that will be to your benefit.

What decision do you usually make?  Are you the person that somehow is pulling through challenges, doing everything you can to keep moving forward, or are you the one that falls into the trap of blaming, mentioning how life is not fair at every step?  If this person is you, write down on a piece of paper the benefits & harm you are causing for yourself because of your mindset.  I’m sure you will soon find out something to improve, a problem to fix.

Don’t blame anyone for the problems you find that need to be fixed, whatever it is, just find a solution.  Focusing your energies in solving problems will lead you to have a more fulfilling life, cause in the end, no one feels genuinely better after complaining about an issue.  Having fixed the problem, however, will help you move on with your life to bigger and better things.  Would you postpone that simply to complain?

Be conscious of your daily actions, study what things you do out of habit.  Sometimes we just blame our parents for how we behave because we are used to hearing that parents are responsible for their children’s behavior.  Then we blame junk food for our health problems, because obviously it’s their fault for making unhealthy food so attractive.  Be more critical with yourself, and find solutions. With some effort, many of your problems can be solved, and the weight of such problems will be lifted from your shoulders.

As a child, I often heard people say, “After the storm comes the calm.”  The belief is that a turmoil, whether we are talking about psychological or physical, can only last for a finite time, and after this finite time things will be calmer, better.  This way of thinking is supposed to lift our spirits and give us hope.  Hope that sometime in the future things will be better.  But, think about it, why must this be the case?  Why should we wait patiently for some calmness to come after we endure a full storm?

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We have a choice not to surrender to our mental turmoils and struggles

Which one would you prefer, calmness after the storm, or calmness throughout and after the storm?  The answer seems obvious, yet we often choose to wait until after our struggles are over to allow that sense of peace to sink in.  Why would we do this?

The main issue we have is ourselves, and what we believe to be true.  We think that being calm while struggling or going through a problem is not an option.  We think it is beyond our control.  But be honest to yourself, who chooses how you feel?  Do I?  Your friends?  Your neighbor?  Or is it you?

It is you. No one else can force you to have a certain feeling.  If you don’t like someone, you won’t like them until your thoughts about that person change.  You are the only one who will make that happen, when you feel ready to change the way you think about such person.

The same is true about our problems.  When was the last time you stressed about a problem? Do you think everyone else would have stressed as much as you did under that situation?  Definitely not.  So, why would someone else be able to go through the same situation you went through, but have a different experience?  Why would Mother Theresa be able to go and help, help, and keep helping, without stopping, while the majority of us won’t even make the first step to help our neighbor in need because we think it’s not going to be good?

The answer is, we all choose what we focus our attention to.  If I am told that I must spend the next week at the hospital because of a health problem, I could be glad that I will receive professional healthcare before the situation is worse, or I could be angry that I won’t be able to go to dinner for my friend’s birthday that Saturday night.  Although both thoughts will probably be present simultaneously in any person with such a situation, each person will choose how much they focus on the missed birthday dinner vs. receiving proper healthcare.

We, as individuals, have an option.  I am not saying that you should care less about your friends and feel good about missing their birthday dinner, but no amount of complaining and personal sorrow will make the dinner taste better for anyone that is able to go, nor will it improve your moods.  So we must find a way to deal with problems.

Find a way to focus your attention to the positive side of a situation. You may have to be creative in order to find the positive side of some situations, but once you do you will have a much more pleasant experience.  This will allow you to improve the lives of those around you, and will allow you to feel in control of things.  Wouldn’t you like that?

We have all probably heard about vision boards or any of the many tools that people use to attract the great things they want in their lives.  Why do they work?  People have many explanations, but the one that resonates with the way I think, and goes in par with Napoleon Hill’s teachings, is that a vision board aids you to establish your purpose, your goal.

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Napoleon Hill said many times that the most important principle to achieving your goals is ‘definiteness of purpose’.  You need to be able to concretely state what your idea of success is, and what you are going to be giving in return for it.  Not only stating it will bring it to you, but if you don’t have a very clear and foolproof image in your head of what you want, you won’t ‘see’ the opportunities laying on your path as you walk your day.  You will miss all these critical moments in which it seems that only ‘luck’ would have allowed you to obtain what you wanted.

I was talking to a good friend of mine a few days ago, and something she mentioned was that she wasn’t yet sure exactly what she wanted the rest of her life to be like.  This is completely understandable, because we all know that is nearly impossible to have a good idea of where we are going to be 5, 10, or 20 years down the road.  But it’s important to be able to break this down into a simpler task, we should not be defining everything about our lives, we need to learn how to discern between that things that are worth defining, and things that will work themselves out.

Here is a simple list of things I think everyone should sit down and define, and then read through this list every morning before going out to the world so they can keep a fresh perspective on their goals.

What is your idea of success?

Here you should not be struggling over minor details, but rather the main things that are important in your life.  Do you want to have a happy family or is that not your priority?  Do you want to earn $30,000 or $100,000 a year?  How do you want to feel about your body, health.  How do you visualize your social environments, how frequently do you interact with others and to what extent?  These are all the things you should consider and define.  Simply saying, I want a lot of money won’t help here.  You should really think about this, and write it down. Here is an example.

My Idea of Success

I am healthy, financially affluent, spiritually at peace, and have excellent relationships with others.  I am genuinely happy and inspire my family and those around me to be the best they can.  I am free to do as I wish, not limited to any particular job or place.

There are many other things you can define.  I think it’s a good idea to also define what you want your annual income (more importantly, your net worth) be and how you can get that, because most people are worrying about finances and the least you can do to lower that stress is to have a concrete goal.  If you don’t have one, you will most likely find yourself always saying “I want more money,” even if you are now earning twice as much as 10 years ago.

What will you give to others in return for your success?

Will you donate to charity 10% of your income?  Start your own charity foundation?  Teach others how to do things you are good at?  Inspire others to get on with their lives?  Think about good things you can do for society, it can be as ‘simple’ as bringing joy to one person’s life each day.  The main thing to keep in mind is, we live in a society, and if we expect to receive good from society, we need to give back to society as well.  Paying taxes won’t cut it, just think about something you can voluntarily do to make the world a better place.   Life will be better for all of us that way.

What things in your life are helping you or holding you back in your path?

Sometimes success will come only after we have made some significant changes in our lives and many of these will involve great sacrifices.  This is the time to think about what are the activities you are doing, or the obligations you have, that are inhibiting your growth, and which ones are helping you get to where you want to be.  This is a difficult step sometimes, particularly if you realize that something you enjoy doing is one of the things that you should stop in order to have the time, money, or energy to do something that will help you build the future you want.

Personally, I am constantly asking myself this question.  What things am I doing that are not contributing to the ideal future I envision?  Are there other things I should do instead?  I’ve made some difficult decisions after thinking about these things for a long time, but at the end of the day I know I’m doing something that is better for me in the long run and that gives me the strength to follow through.

People from all different backgrounds find success on a daily basis, but the great majority of it doesn’t happen until they have a very clear idea of what success means to them  at a personal level.

Have you defined what success means to you yet?  Please leave a comment below with what your idea of success is, it will help others think about their own lives and what they truly want as well.  Thank you. :)