Simply Be Present

“It is our choices… that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.”
– J.K. Rowling

As millions of other children, I read every Harry Potter book growing up.  The quote above was one sentence that really stood out to me from this entire 7-book series.  The reason I like it so much is that I believe that this quote summarizes the difference between success and failure (however you define these).  You see, I grew up knowing one thing, if I wished for something I needed to turn hope into action in order to achieve it.  My parents were huge on telling people that they could achieve anything they wanted.  They taught me to focus on the role I played in building my future, and make the choices that would help me build that future I wanted. What I’ve realized is that there is really not much more to the successes and failures in my life than that, choices made.

Every minute of the day I am faced with decisions to make.  Should I have some sweets?  Should I workout?  Should I do my laundry now, or postpone it until later?  Should I buy a new car?  Should I quit this job?  Should I follow my dream at the risk of failing?  I make dozens of decisions every minute.  I sometimes choose to think about a particularly pleasant moment of the past, or maybe a not so pleasant one.  The main realization, however, is that the person I am today is simply a representation of the choices I have made up until now.

Given this, if for any reason I have trouble with who I am right now, or can’t come to terms with an aspect of my life as it is, wouldn’t it make sense for me to reevaluate my decisions?  More importantly, wouldn’t it be wise to rethink the way I chose this path to begin with?  There is an awful lot to be said about successful people, but one thing to me is clear, in order for someone to succeed at anything the first step is to own up to their lives.  We have all met a confident man or woman that has inspired us.  These are the people who know that, no matter what their circumstances were in the past, or what they are now, they can adjust their path as necessary to live a fulfilling life.  These people don’t go around blaming others for their circumstances, they focus that extra energy in taking positive action.  This is what makes them successful, making the choice to move forward and take control of their lives, instead of choosing to believe that their circumstances have nothing to do with them, and they were just ‘blessed’ or ‘cursed’ with this life as it is.

Let’s pay attention to the choices we make and the thoughts we choose to entertain.  If you choose to be jealous at someone, admit it.  Also realize that you are weakening your potential by doing so, instead of working hard to achieve your next big goal.  If you blame constantly your parents, a lover, or anyone else  for the things that have gone wrong in your life , you have some soul-searching to do.  At the end of the day no matter how justified we feel to blame someone else for our problems, it does little to solve our problems and a whole lot to make us feel powerless.

Let’s make the right decisions.  Next time we choose to say something, think something, do something, let’s choose to say, think or do that which we can be proud of.  That’s how we become someone that we can be proud of, by making the right choices.

Why do we celebrate the New Year?  Is it really that special of an occasion?  What changes as we transition from one calendar year to the other?  You can argue that nothing really changes, life simply goes on.  However, a new year gives you a framework, a time scale for you to propose new goals to yourself, and carry them through.  Reflecting upon the previous year and proposing new, achievable goals for the new year can help us shape our future.

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”
- Maria Robinson

Each new year brings with it the opportunity to reevaluate our life and start forging a new path.  A year is long enough for us to change and improve many things in our lives, but is short enough for us to be able to reflect upon it and learn from our many successes and mistakes.  As such, we should make the most out of this opportunity to reflect and reevaluate our life and goals as we see fit.

There is much you can propose to do this New Year.  Make some ambitious goals if you so wish, but don’t simply make goals you won’t work hard to achieve.  Make goals in the areas you are truly passionate about, and let that passion energize you and motivate you to achieve them.  I like to keep in mind a few things when writing goals:

1. Make them achievable within the scope of your current responsibilities.
2. Only make goals for things you truly care about.
3. Make your goals concrete – be sure you can track your progress over time.  Being able to track your progress can both motivate you as you see progress, and let you know if you’re on the right track.
4. Make them fun!  Why would you propose to do something and then be bitter/bored/sad about it?
5. Take baby steps if you’re changing a habit.
6. Don’t make too many goals.  Focus on one or two big things this year.

There are certain things that you may be able to simply stop doing almost immediately, but that is rarely the case.  Hence, I would suggest that if you want to stop doing something, you replace that activity or habit with a new one that you enjoy and allows you to focus on something new.  It should be something you like, and helps you get closer to achieving your goals.  Let’s bring new energy into our days, spice things up!

Another important thing I like to do is to take time to reflect upon your days.  A little bit of relaxation time every day, just 5 minutes sometimes to clear up my head and simply BE, can do wonders for the rest of the day.

Let’s make 2011 a year of transformation for all of us.  Let’s make sure that our priorities, goals, and actions are well-aligned.  Take the time to trace your path, but leave room for life to surprise you.  Then, start your days in a positive note with a few minutes of reflection time, and allowing yourself to be grateful for your life and let the excitement for new opportunities to really sink in.

Cheers to a wonderful 2011.  Remember that our life follows the path we trace for it.  Clear up your head and trace a path of prosperity, and your life will follow.  You will be happier and positively influence those around you.

Thank you everyone for reading this blog and for your comments and words of encouragement.  I learn as much or even more from everyone’s perspectives, life experiences, and points of views than from my own experiences.  I am very grateful for all the blessings I have had so far, and I want to thank you for being a part of my days.

I have been working for a consulting firm the past couple of months and my life has drastically changed from what it used to be.  I love the work I do, but I do have to make sacrifices to perform well at my job.  I work long hours, which doesn’t bother me, except that sometimes I wonder how much time am I willing to give to a company rather than building my own ‘thing’.  What is this ‘thing’ that I refer to, I am not certain, but I do strive to always work for things that I’m passionate about.

So far I have been happy with my work.  I like the people that I’m working with, I love the atmosphere I’m in and the fact that so many of my coworkers are committed to delivering the best work and as such motivate me to continue learning and growing.  I am happy to do this, and because of that I have no problem committing to my work and always doing things to my full potential.  But I can’t help but wonder, what could I be doing with all this time?  Are there other great things out there I should be working on?  Is there something I could do to use all my skills and energy and make a greater impact in society?  I’m not sure, but it is something that I will continue reflecting upon.

My grandfather passed away this morning after much suffering.  This reminds me of the transiency of life.  We are very alive just this minute, but when will our time on earth expire?  If my time were to expire, would I be proud of my life?

As someone who has recently been thinking about very much about the kind of life I want to lead, and how a full-time job will fit within the scope of everything, I must say that this talk was one of the things I needed to hear.  I ask you to please ignore any language that may not be of your taste, and rather focus your attention to what matters, the message.

If you have a dream, find a way to pursue it.  Otherwise, you will always wonder what could have been.  I don’t want to be 75 years old and still thinking, how would my life be if I have had the courage to do X or Y.  As such, I will find a way to do what I want to do.  I will not, however, do so without taking into account that I am part of a society, and I have to be productive.  I won’t refuse to work a 9 to 5 job if I need an income, but will not be stuck with it for the rest of my life if it doesn’t go along with my life plans.  Do what you have to do, but never quit on your true goals.

(If you can’t see the video, wait a few minutes for the player to load.  Thank you!)

A few weeks ago I was reading a very interesting article about a pharmaceutical plant that was awarded the 2009 Facility of the Year Overall Award by the Pharmaceutical Engineering Magazine.  The impressive thing about this plant was that it was built in a constrained area within a dense city, and the project was finished before the scheduled deadline, within budget, and with no major complications!  The planning and execution for this plant to be built was worthy of praise, and as such it was being featured in the magazine.  Although many factors contributed to this successful project, there was a very particular philosophy that the managers maintained, “No blame, fix the problem.”  If there is a problem, look for a solution rather than finding someone to blame for it.  Applying this philosophy to our life problems would allow you to improve things, see the silver lining in a situation, rather than get stuck in a cycle of negativity.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/madeiraarchipelago/20244382/

Although many would hear this and immediately agree that it’s a good philosophy to follow, very few have the courage to apply this to their own lives on a constant basis.  Why do I say courage?

Each time we are faced with a difficult situation, we have two ways to look at it.  We can try to avoid it or dissociate ourselves from the situation, or we can fix the problem.  Sometimes we just disregard it as non-important in our efforts to keep ourselves from facing the problem at all.  Will this get you anywhere?  Say you had money problems, which is a very common problem these days, what do you do?

We can blame the economy, God, Obama or even Bush, or many others for our money issues, but the fact is that blaming them solves absolutely none of your problems.  This approach can make you feel better temporarily, but it hinders your creativity and will stop you from finding a good, tangible solution to your problem. Instead of blaming, focus your energy on fixing the problem, something that will be to your benefit.

What decision do you usually make?  Are you the person that somehow is pulling through challenges, doing everything you can to keep moving forward, or are you the one that falls into the trap of blaming, mentioning how life is not fair at every step?  If this person is you, write down on a piece of paper the benefits & harm you are causing for yourself because of your mindset.  I’m sure you will soon find out something to improve, a problem to fix.

Don’t blame anyone for the problems you find that need to be fixed, whatever it is, just find a solution.  Focusing your energies in solving problems will lead you to have a more fulfilling life, cause in the end, no one feels genuinely better after complaining about an issue.  Having fixed the problem, however, will help you move on with your life to bigger and better things.  Would you postpone that simply to complain?

Be conscious of your daily actions, study what things you do out of habit.  Sometimes we just blame our parents for how we behave because we are used to hearing that parents are responsible for their children’s behavior.  Then we blame junk food for our health problems, because obviously it’s their fault for making unhealthy food so attractive.  Be more critical with yourself, and find solutions. With some effort, many of your problems can be solved, and the weight of such problems will be lifted from your shoulders.

We have all probably heard about vision boards or any of the many tools that people use to attract the great things they want in their lives.  Why do they work?  People have many explanations, but the one that resonates with the way I think, and goes in par with Napoleon Hill’s teachings, is that a vision board aids you to establish your purpose, your goal.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/amaynez/2145618222/

Napoleon Hill said many times that the most important principle to achieving your goals is ‘definiteness of purpose’.  You need to be able to concretely state what your idea of success is, and what you are going to be giving in return for it.  Not only stating it will bring it to you, but if you don’t have a very clear and foolproof image in your head of what you want, you won’t ‘see’ the opportunities laying on your path as you walk your day.  You will miss all these critical moments in which it seems that only ‘luck’ would have allowed you to obtain what you wanted.

I was talking to a good friend of mine a few days ago, and something she mentioned was that she wasn’t yet sure exactly what she wanted the rest of her life to be like.  This is completely understandable, because we all know that is nearly impossible to have a good idea of where we are going to be 5, 10, or 20 years down the road.  But it’s important to be able to break this down into a simpler task, we should not be defining everything about our lives, we need to learn how to discern between that things that are worth defining, and things that will work themselves out.

Here is a simple list of things I think everyone should sit down and define, and then read through this list every morning before going out to the world so they can keep a fresh perspective on their goals.

What is your idea of success?

Here you should not be struggling over minor details, but rather the main things that are important in your life.  Do you want to have a happy family or is that not your priority?  Do you want to earn $30,000 or $100,000 a year?  How do you want to feel about your body, health.  How do you visualize your social environments, how frequently do you interact with others and to what extent?  These are all the things you should consider and define.  Simply saying, I want a lot of money won’t help here.  You should really think about this, and write it down. Here is an example.

My Idea of Success

I am healthy, financially affluent, spiritually at peace, and have excellent relationships with others.  I am genuinely happy and inspire my family and those around me to be the best they can.  I am free to do as I wish, not limited to any particular job or place.

There are many other things you can define.  I think it’s a good idea to also define what you want your annual income (more importantly, your net worth) be and how you can get that, because most people are worrying about finances and the least you can do to lower that stress is to have a concrete goal.  If you don’t have one, you will most likely find yourself always saying “I want more money,” even if you are now earning twice as much as 10 years ago.

What will you give to others in return for your success?

Will you donate to charity 10% of your income?  Start your own charity foundation?  Teach others how to do things you are good at?  Inspire others to get on with their lives?  Think about good things you can do for society, it can be as ‘simple’ as bringing joy to one person’s life each day.  The main thing to keep in mind is, we live in a society, and if we expect to receive good from society, we need to give back to society as well.  Paying taxes won’t cut it, just think about something you can voluntarily do to make the world a better place.   Life will be better for all of us that way.

What things in your life are helping you or holding you back in your path?

Sometimes success will come only after we have made some significant changes in our lives and many of these will involve great sacrifices.  This is the time to think about what are the activities you are doing, or the obligations you have, that are inhibiting your growth, and which ones are helping you get to where you want to be.  This is a difficult step sometimes, particularly if you realize that something you enjoy doing is one of the things that you should stop in order to have the time, money, or energy to do something that will help you build the future you want.

Personally, I am constantly asking myself this question.  What things am I doing that are not contributing to the ideal future I envision?  Are there other things I should do instead?  I’ve made some difficult decisions after thinking about these things for a long time, but at the end of the day I know I’m doing something that is better for me in the long run and that gives me the strength to follow through.

People from all different backgrounds find success on a daily basis, but the great majority of it doesn’t happen until they have a very clear idea of what success means to them  at a personal level.

Have you defined what success means to you yet?  Please leave a comment below with what your idea of success is, it will help others think about their own lives and what they truly want as well.  Thank you.

In my opinion and observation, just about ~99% of our limitations are made up.  They are a straight up lie.  That’s right, lies.  And who lied to you to limit your potential?  You did.  Remember when you were growing up and went to a language class, hated it, and after that said “I’m just not good at languages?”  That day, you lied to yourself.  Then you may have gotten a C- on a high school essay and said, “I am not a good writer.”  You lied to yourself, yet again.  One day you heard about a stubborn person and the sound of it resounded with you and you started saying, “I am stubborn.”  You may have liked the freedom of THINKING that people would just put up with whatever you said or did since you labeled yourself as stubborn.  Oh, we are a funny bunch, aren’t we?

“A man is but the product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes.”
- Mahatma Gandhi

There are many other examples of self-limiting comments.  How many of you have heard people say things like: I just can’t lose those extra pounds, I’m always late, I always get sick, I’m just kind of moody sometimes.  We go on telling everyone just how much we know about ourselves, and we say these things with a commanding tone that may fool others to believe these are inherent characteristics of who we are.  Scary stuff.

We are quite obnoxious about this, too.  Someone may be talking about the new diet they are trying and right then we go on about how diets don’t work for us and the 1000 reasons why you will never be on one again.  You tell the other person in detail just how much pain you went through when you couldn’t eat that piece of candy during your trip to Disney with your family, etc.  Guess what?  Other people probably don’t care, or at least not as much as you think they do.  And even if they did, this diet is giving them amazing results.  Just keep your mouth shut for a bit, resist the urge to give unsolicited advice, and listen with an open mind.  Maybe this diet would work for you, too!  Take your time to stop limiting yourself and others.

“If we are speaking, we are not listening or learning anything to add to our sum of knowledge.”
- Ken Fracaro

These limiting thoughts we have, I’m not good at this or that, reflect a defeated attitude.  We give up and say, that’s who I am, just take it or leave it.  Where is your DRIVE to push yourself?  Where is your drive to improve?  If we are not willing to put in work and effort, we will not learn.  Active learning only takes place when you challenge yourself to improve, and get out of your comfort zone.

Transform these negative thoughts!

If you have any thoughts similar to the ones mentioned above, you may want to learn to transform your thoughts in order to lead a happier life.  Let’s try it -

Next time you think “I don’t have any talent to dance,”  replace the thought with, “Let me Google ways to learn how to dance, maybe I can watch a YouTube video that can teach me some moves.”

Instead of saying, “I can’t lose the extra pounds, this is how my body is,”  take a step back and say, “If I want to lose weight, I need to stop doing what I have tried and learn new ways.”  Unless you have seen a doctor about your health and nutrition, and have effectively worked with a good personal trainer, there is no reason for you to say ‘this is who I am.’  We suddenly become genetics experts, and say “I got bad genes.”  Genetics may play a role, who knows, but most of the people who fail do so because they want to justify things, rather than work hard to change habits.

NO ONE will get ahead of the game by blaming others people or blaming things out of their control, only when we focus on the things we DO have control over, we succeed.

Don’t surrender when you are not happy about something, work to improve it.  Accept that you are who you are today because of the thoughts and decisions from your past, and know you can start today to forge a better tomorrow.

The English language is sometimes misleading.  People feel cold and they say “I am cold”, but cold has nothing to do with who they are, it’s just something they are feeling now.  Likewise, people are mislead by the way they describe ‘feeling angry,’ they say “I am angry” enough times that anger becomes a part of who they are, and they constantly feel angry or upset.  Be aware of what you say you are. You are not bad at something, you just have not yet gained the skills you desire to obtain and will work for.

Let’s approach life in a more positive note, looking always forward to improving ourselves rather than allowing defeat to take over.  This way life will be happier for us and everyone surrounding us.