omar eduardo’s blog

The real highlights of my recent life are mostly taekwondo related. Within the past three weeks we had two INCTL tournaments, one hosted by our team at MIT, while the second one was hosted by Cornell University. The season has so far been be very challenging, since all teams are training to the best of their abilities and giving it their all in the ring. That’s what makes it exciting at the same time.

That being said, our team won the tournament we hosted, while Cornell University’s team won their own tournament. After both tournaments, however, the overall standings of the league favor MIT by 32 points (Cornell is second with 1011 cumulative points).

My personal contribution? Being there to spar heavy guys. Some of them slightly heavier than me, others… simply massive. One of the guys I lost to was so massive I thought I was sparring the Great Wall, except that it moved.

My two last matches at the Cornell tournament taught me two important lessons:

1) Trust your training, challenges that might have defeated you in the past are within reach now.
2) There are bigger challenges to face that you should keep training for.

I’m looking forward to keep training and improve my taekwondo overall. There is definitely something unique about taekwondo, and it’s not worth it to even attempt to describe the feeling.

Outside of taekwondo…

I keep learning and growing everyday from my interactions with my close friends, and even from interactions with not-so-close friends. I’ve realized how much I treasure the time I spend with the people closest to me, even if sometimes it seems too short.

I don’t think many people understand me or my feelings/thoughts, and sometimes I wish that this wasn’t the case since it could make some of my relationships much stronger and enriching. However, I wouldn’t want to turn a ‘casual’ friendship into an ‘awkward’ one by trying to explain myself or my feelings to someone that might not understand/appreciate them. I don’t blame anyone for not understanding me or being able to correspond to my feelings, for these things are natural and we can’t all think/feel the same way. Relationships in general are pretty irrational, and this uncertainty is what makes them so special. It’s all about finding that person that resonates with you.

I do have friends that understand me, and it makes me happy to have people like them around me. It’s nice to have people who don’t judge you based on trivial things and not-so-trivial things that you can’t change — I feel genuinely happy around them. I can’t complain about my life, because even if I miss some friends, and even if not all things can be like I’d like, I enjoy genuine and pure friendships with the people that surround me.

It hurts to think about how things could be, but it helps to see the good things of how things are.

As a Junior in college, there are some things I have to think about. First, what am I going to do with my life once I graduate? Although there are still two more years before I graduate, there are things that I would like to do that require long term planning.  The most realistic options I have are:

1. Go to graduate school.
2. Get a job.

Both of this require me to do many different things, but there is something that they have in common. No matter how things turn out, it is to my advantage to have a good GPA. Although this will be more relevant in certain situations, I can’t think of a single time someone has come to me and said: “The reason I had this amazing opportunity was because of my bad GPA in college.” Some people do have awesome success stories (think Bill Gates and Steve Jobs), but there’s a reason they are mentioned every single time people talk about school and doing well in life… there’s not many cases like theirs. 

That being said, my GPA is quite in bad shape at this point. At a B almost B- average, there are many things that I can apply for, but would be only be considered as a candidate under special circumstances. Although I always think about doing significant changes in order to improve my situation, I always go around repeating the same (or very similar) mistakes. 

As a freshman I decided to take a set of classes first term that proved to be completely manageable, getting an A average during my first term and IAP (the January ‘Term’ at MIT). With this confidence I tried out a set of classes my second semester that proved to be much harder, and no A’s showed up on my record at the end of that semester. In the fall term things were a bit more smooth but in the end just one A gracefully came my way. Spring term sophomore year I decided I had to kill myself by taking a class combination that was not pretty, not at all, and I successfully killed my GPA in the process. 

A recurring theme in every term is the ending of it. Spending my vacations wondering ‘why didn’t I do such and such when I had a chance?’, such and such being perfectly legitimate things I could have done to make my life more manageable. Even though I always think about improving this situation, this term I had decided at first to take 5 classes, something that is a bit of a stretch for many people. This is particularly strenuous if you consider the amount of time I also dedicate to Taekwondo…

Although people may say to me ‘why don’t you just stop doing Taekwondo, that would free up enough time for you to do X or Y’, what people don’t understand is how much happier I feel when I do taekwondo. Not only I feel better about myself because I’m physically active, taekwondo also challenges me to improve in ways I would not be challenged otherwise. It really pushes me to improve in many more ways than I originally thought it would, and the way I feel when I do taekwondo is just… unique.

Now, that being said, I finally decided by registration day not to take 5 classes, and instead I registered for 4 classes, but then I added a UROP. I successfully registered for 60 units. Why didn’t I limit myself to 48 units? Well, I can’t answer that question very well. But now that I’m feeling the effects of all my commitments, getting on average 3 hours of sleep this past week, and, thanks to my sleep-deprivation underperformed at my first exam, I decided to really not just think about it, but actually executing it. I’m dropping a class.

For some of you this might seem like something trivial. ‘Sure Omar, go drop your class, whatever‘, but you simply don’t understand. Deep down, ingrained somewhere in my brain/heart, there is a need to prove to myself that I can handle more than what people expect from me. I feel a need to prove that I deserve my spot at such a prestigious institution, and that I can handle what others can handle, and even more. And this is all something I feel the need to do for myself, even if no one else cares. Other than that, I also feel a need to help people when they need it. For this reasons I always go around overcommitting: to classes, extracurricular activities, and many other things. In the end, I feel very satisfied with what I’ve accomplished, except that as implied by my use of the word ‘overcommit’, there are adverse effects which tend to be an underperformance in academics.

If I want to change the trend I need to start by giving up on bad habits. I started out by dedicating more time to my classes this term, but the next step is to admit to myself that I cannot handle as much as other people around me do, and that it is just fine. There is absolutely no need for me to take more than 48 units per term for the next 4 terms, I can even graduate taking less units than that! I just have to realize that, even if everyone else goes on and take 60 units and get straight A’s, that’s not what I want for myself. I was pretty much what you would consider a ’slacker’ in high school, I never had to work as hard as many other people did in their high schools before coming to MIT, and two years might just not be enough for me to catch up with the work rate of people who had been working extra hard for 4, 5, 6 years before coming here. I accept that: “hard work pays off”. Implied in that saying is the fact that the hard work everyone else has done for many years more than I have, has to pay off for them somehow. Because of this I might not be able to get a double major as some people will, or even a minor, but I can at least leave MIT having successfully completed a degree and getting the most out of it. By successfully completing a degree I mean making sure that I’m well prepared in my field of study so that I can be admitted to graduate school, or at least be successful at getting a job and performing well in it. And this is what I intend to do…

I’m sorry if I bored you with this long post, but it is something I had to write. It is through writing that I concretize what runs through my mind, and this is something that needed to be concretized. All of this having been said, my family is visiting tomorrow! I should be ready to receive them with a heart and a mind more at ease now that I’ve ’settled’ some of my problems. At least in my head I have.

-Omar

Happiness depends upon ourselves.
Aristotle (384 BC - 322 BC)

This new academic year I’ve managed to not only change the classes I’m taking, but also my living situation, the roles and responsibilities I have with different people/organizations, among others.  All of these things, however, seem to be enjoyable. I can’t complain about my classes yet, and I’ve been able to attend Taekwondo practice regularly so far.

My view on this semester is quite optimistic, and for some reason it feels like I can probably stay optimistic throughout the term. I’m hoping that this is not just the regular optimism that I normally feel at the start of the semester, which is pretty much a fake excitement due to how I expect things to be, and once I realize what the semester is all about… it’s all lost. Sort of like when people meet or start dating someone new. If I approach my classes as first dates (something in which I have not much experience…), here are my impressions from the first few dates:

7.03 ‘Genetics’ - Although my preconceptions of its kind and what I know about it tells me that this might work out, my impression so far is that this is going to be one really hard relationship to sustain for the semester. The plus side, is quite independent and requires little time commitment, it feels like what people would define as an ‘open-relationship’. The bad: that small time we spend together, is plainly painful. Immensely boring and with a horrible sense of humor, this one is definitely not going to make my day any better. Tomorrow I’ll meet for the first time with the ‘teacher assistant’ and hopefully this one can make it all work out by adding a good twist to all this. 

10.302 ‘Transport Processes’ - This actually comes in two flavors, both which are quite interesting, funny and unique in some sense. Although it promises to be a very time consuming one (I think this one wants to be exclusive), I feel like it will be one of the most rewarding and fulfilling relationships of the term.

21F.503 ‘Intermediate Japanese I’ - Basically a continuation of my long term relationship with the Japanese program at MIT, this course added a new twist to the monotony of our last year by making things more interesting but more time consuming at the same time. This one used to come in 3 different flavors, and you never knew which one you’d get that day, and now two of the previous flavors are not there anymore, but a new flavor arrived. Each flavor we call by a different name, adding the polite ’sensei’ ending. 

21F.592 ‘Introduction to Japanese Culture’ - I’m in love with this one, but as expected, this one has been very time consuming. Although I was promised that it was just like this at the beginning, while getting to know each other, I really wouldn’t leave this one no matter what. I’ll definitely stick to it, and enjoy, until the end.

Apart from classes, something that I must say is that I really like my apartment. Even if the floor is slanted, the location a bit farther than dorms, and I have to be here to receive UPS packages, I feel that the benefits are great. Trading a 40 Mbps internet connection for a simple DSL connection is something else I’ll accept to feel more ‘at home’. I feel like my room is really MINE, and it’s amazing  what a difference it makes to have furniture that I picked, and decorations that I love.

Something else that I’ve realized is how big of a role Taekwondo plays in my life. I feel like the more I keep practicing this martial art, the more I realize how much I want to keep practicing and improving at it. Every practice is challenging and fulfilling. I can’t imagine how different I would be, and therefore my life would be, had I not stumbled upon this group of people two years ago. 

At this point, I’m organizing my life so that this term I can achieve two major goals while keeping a ‘healthy social life’, do well academically (both in classes and with my research project) and improve my taekwondo as much as possible. All other things I’m trying to pursue (photography, film, etc.) will be secondary to this. 

-Omar

Although I can only sit to watch TV for a limited amount of time (unless it’s something completely amazing, or a movie), I must say that I’m infatuated by the Olympics. The opening ceremony for the 2008 Summer Olympics in Beijing was simply breathtaking, a surreal spectacle that I watched twice and still couldn’t believe it. The entire thing was a masterpiece. Of course, it would have been better to watch it without NBC’s English commentaries, which actually made things worst, or with the couple of times in which they decided to focus on Bush rather than the actual event. But ignoring those instances, the event was just majestic. The fireworks, the tai chi demonstration, the huge screen projecting beautiful imagery, the art, the performances, the costumes, and, of course, Sarah Brightman and Liu Huan’s “You and Me” performance… everything was spectacular. Each part was so well executed and planned that I had to remind myself that no, it wasn’t a movie, and yes, this happened on Earth. I felt like a kid again, and a very excited one. 

Now I’m looking forward to the Taekwondo events. The Puerto Rico team has 2 taekwondoists in their team of 22, so I definitely wouldn’t want to miss those matches. I’m also packing everything and cleaning up to move to my friend’s place for two weeks, and then to my new apartment! It’s an eventful end of the summer.

-Omar

I went home for three weeks after finals week, gained 10 pounds and got completely sunburned up to the point in which I spent a week recovering at home. That’s how you know I had a good time. My sunburn was so great that I had to put cold gel with aloe and several other ingredients on my back and shoulders and I still felt like an oven. Now I know what it’s like to go to hell, thank you Jesus.

After that fantastic experience I got back to MIT, but on the way here I had to go upstairs with my suitcase and backpack (over my sunburned back) for what seemed an eternity, simply because a train station was closed and the station at which I had to get off had no elevator… (it was broken).

I finally made it to the MIT Saturday night (that’s last week’s Saturday) and was settled in my room by midnight. I am yet to unpack and completely settle in, but that’s something you don’t care about. Sunday was a relaxing day, I had an exquisite dinner at Suzanne’s place and went to bed by 1am.

This week I spent doing the following:

1. Training for my job as an Interphase TA
2. Finishing up training for my summer research
3. Practicing taekwondo
4. Lifting weights with René
5. Eat, sleep, socialize, have a life.
6. Working on the taekwondo club’s websites.

I got a bike from René, so I have been able to go back and forth from places without wasting too much time. One exciting thing was that my celphone fell off my pocket while I was biking on Massachusetts Avenue, and thanks to some sort of miracle I could recover it without it dying or a car killing me. I had a fantastic week indeed. Now, however… I feel like a piece of disposable human.

Thanks to the amount of exercise I did combining taekwondo practice and lifting weights this past week, when I woke up this morning my body was in pain. Severe pain. God forgave all my sins since my last confession (several years ago) because he thought I was in enough pain now. Even now when I walk to the door I have to do it as if I were an 80 years old man, arching my back and moving slowly.

I hope this pain goes away soon because the Interphase students (my students for the summer) started arriving today and I’ll be working 6:30am-5:30pm tomorrow receiving the rest. Shall be fun. I guess it would be great if I receive them sitting on a chair and not being able to move.

Okay well, I’m going now to make things worst because I’m a masochist. I just got a call from people who just convinced me to play Ultimate Frisbee with them… because apparently that’s all that taekwondo folks in the club do during the summer. I can barely move, but they don’t care, so we’ll see if I survive. I’m also very hungry… I could eat a cow.

-omar